I bloody love Christmas, and to be frank it’s mostly about the food for me… presents, great obviously but it is the one time of year when it is totally ok to go beyond indulgent, eat pudding and cheese for breakfast and the prospect of gaining half a stone in a mere 10 days is completely acceptable. Well for me anyway, it’s a necessary festive covering to see you through the winter months, that and not shaving your legs…
However, the issue I have with Christmas and the festive period is the sudden and rapid shift in levels of acceptable eating.
One minute you’ve got every advert telling you to absolutely fill your face, Matchmakers are £1 a box, Gin weighs in at a minuscule £18 a bottle compared to £25 (you’ll know which Gin if you recognise the price reduction…) and then WHAM! Run fatty, run! The clock strikes midnight and all of a sudden you catch sight of yourself in a mirror and it’s like Beauty seeing the Beast looking back. Not pretty. Wine and cheese apparently doesn’t make you beautiful in the cold light of New Years Day.
You’ve also got all these skinny, toned celebs on TV telling you to buy their new fitness DVD or basically die from over exercising your jaw – no one ever mentions the fact that they filmed these DVD’s about 5 months ago and they’re currently sat stuffing their faces or being papped by Reveal with their Christmas gut hanging out of their tinie tiny bikini in Barbados…
Gino DiCampo goes from smothering all manner of things in goose fat to dry ciabatta and a bit of pesto if you’re lucky. It’s obscene.
Let’s also not forget the really welcome arrival of swimming lessons starting again, a week after New Year… Let’s get naked (practically)! Just what you need after eating the equivalent of Tesco Express on a daily basis.
I’m not even going to go into the gym situ that seems to take over the country like some rare virus that lasts approximately 3 weeks until they all get bored and come to their senses. Don’t get me wrong, I’m up for exercising… just not in mass.
So obviously I’ve let all of the above get to me, like pretty much everyone else in the country and I’ve started to look at myself naked through squinted eyes in the vain hope that this makes it marginally better until I can shift the extra 5 (ahem, maybe 7) pounds I’ve acquired… I pretty much blame Mint Matchmakers for this. I’m sure if we were in America I could wangle this as a law suit?
In order to remedy this cyclical situation which hits us every year, I was enormously relieved to wander past the Matchmakers yesterday to see with great relief that they had gone back up to £2.50 – this by the way is far too much money and angers me somewhat but there we go, a blessing in disguise some may say.
I’ve also started this magical thing with two of my friends which basically relies on shame and peer pressure with a touch of competition… we do Watsapp Weigh-ins every Monday. We take a snapshot of the scales with our little trotters on them and basically have to confess to any naughties we eat over the course of the week, with full acceptance of the fact that you’re going to get mild verbal abuse for wavering… we also did this before my wedding, it actually works a treat. Brutal, but good.
And lastly, frozen banana breakfast smoothies… another glorious use for all the lovely bananas I love to fill our house with. Que happy husband. These are actually pretty delicious and so easy to make as you’re flying out the door, with or without child under one arm…
Recipe as follows:
- One over ripe banana, chopped into chunks and frozen
- 200ml milk – normal, soya, almond. Whatever takes your fancy.
- 1 or 2 tablespoons of oats
- Good squirt of honey or a teaspoon depending on if you’re jarred or convenience
- A generous sprinkle of cinnamon
Chuck it all in a measuring jug, one of those Sports Direct protein drink things, or a pint glass and whizz it up. If you’re fancy use a Nutri-blender of sorts.
And basically, in my world, that’s as good as it gets… Apart from palming off portions of my dinner for Boden’s freezer suppers to make me feel slightly better.